


Bro

by robin_writes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bro - Freeform, Bro or the one where Derek Hale is Stiles Stilinski's trophy wife, M/M, Stiles has no self control, baker!Derek, bisexual!Stiles, jock!Derek, lucy reference, media, netflix!Stiles, orange is the new black reference, scarlett johansson reference, tumblr!Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4374245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robin_writes/pseuds/robin_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Stiles gets bullied by the jocks for being a hipster and Stiles got mad one time and punched the first guy in his fist's path - Derek. But Derek is really a sweetheart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zerer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerer/gifts).



Stiles carefully placed his textbooks into his locker. If he wasn't careful, he might have found himself under a mountain of econ. and maths books. There was enough heavier ones to kill a man. Probably. Stiles shifted his hipster-style glasses up his nose. He locked the locker door and walked outside. As soon as he stepped out of the front entrance, the heavens opened. The rain soaked through Stiles' sweater and licked at his skin. Pulling his bag on over his shoulders, he stumbled home.

That evening, Stiles' dad made spaghetti and Stiles resigned himself to a night of homework. At around midnight, Stiles heard a thudding coming from outside his window. He walked over to his window ledge and opened the dark blue curtains. On the window were four broken eggs, yolk running down the glass. Stiles saw a shadow moving underneath the street light outside. He opened the window and yelled "Go home Isaac!" The figure threw another egg and then disappeared. "How rude!" Stiles launched himself onto his bed and opened up his laptop. She was called 'Scarlett' after his Lord and Saviour Scarlett Johansson. And he opened tumblr. His URL was www.lolurnotscarlettj.tumblr.com. He must have watched her new movie 'Lucy' at least a dozen times since it came out the previous week. Although the ending was kinda crap. But Stiles powered through because y'know SCARLETT JOHANSSON!

Stiles stayed on tumblr until around 2am because he has absolutely no self control. Then when he had to get up, he complained for four straight hours.

He was standing at his locker that morning, placing his books, one by one into his bag, when a group of guys walked over to him. It was Isaac Lahey, Derek Hale, Jackson Whittemore, Danny Mahealani, and Vernon Boyd. The douchebag jocks. "Hey nerd. What're you doing? Going through your comic book collection?" Jackson moved to stand next to Stiles, glancing at his friends.  
"No, I keep that at home." Stiles closed his locker, a precaution in case they decided to shove his head in it.  
"No one asked you!" Jackson turned to Boyd who had just spoken up.  
"Jackson literally just asked me... Whatever." Stiles shoved past Derek and walked to his next lesson. Derek just looked hurt.

Stiles grabbed his phone from out of his pocket to text Scott.  
'Just had a run in with the snakes. Shoved Derek!'  
The 'snakes' was the unofficial name for the jocks at Beacon Hills. Everyone called them it, everyone except the guys who were the snakes. They took it for what it was, an insult. Stiles' phone pinged.  
'Nice. See you later, you still up 4 2nite?'  
He texted Scott back;  
'Yea, see u at 4.'  
Stiles had no idea why, when he was sitting in his biology class, he was thinking about Derek Hale. Why Derek freaking Hale? The guy was butch, like a hundred and sixty pounds of pure muscle. Stiles was more into guys like Jackson, who had the capability (and money) of making him their trophy wife. Stiles would enjoy that. Although Jackson was a jerk, so not actually him. But Derek Hale? Seriously?

He heard a pen drop behind him, as he bent down to pick it up, he caught eyes with Derek who was smirking at him. "Uhhh... can you stop looking at me like that? Please." Stiles turned away from Derek.  
"Like what?" Derek's smile grew.  
"Like you are at the moment." Stiles paused. "OhmyGod! Stop."  
"Okay." Derek grabbed the pen which turned out to be his, and sat back down. The teacher hadn't seen a thing. Stupid Mr Harris! You couldn't just pay attention one time. You love putting me in detention! Erase the sexual tension with all of your authority!

While Stiles sat miserably hard in his chair in biology, Derek Hale sitting directly behind him was also aroused by Stiles.

The rest of the week went similarly, with Stiles being pestered by the snakes and meeting up with Scott. But on monday morning, Stiles felt the aura around his locker morph into something strange. He opened the door to find a white box with a post-it note on top.  
'Stiles, you should really try to hide your locker combination. I hope you like it. Derek xxx'

Stiles opened the box,in it was the best-smelling, best-looking cherry pie he'd ever seen. And it was still hot. What? Stiles was confused and also sexually frustrated.

For the rest of the day, every time he saw Derek, he'd make this adorable questioning face at Stiles that Stiles was just not ready for. He'd spent his entire life thinking that Derek was a jerk, and he wasn't planning on changing his mind anytime soon, now Derek will be the pie-making, lock-picking, adorable-face-making jerk he'd always been. No one could convince Stiles otherwise.

The pie was as good as it smelt and looked, and it was definitely homemade. Stiles even let his dad have a slice, but only one because it was too good to give away. Each taste was like an orgasm. No, that's kind of weird. Forget that. He had a text come through.  
'Hi, I got your number from Scott, I hope you don't mind. Is the pie okay? I'm working on a new recipe, pumpkin spiced latte flavour. I'll bring it in tomorrow. Derek xxx'  
What? What? Whaaat? I'm so confused. Stiles sat at his desk, in his room surrounded by papers and pie crumbs.

True to his word, the next day Stiles found a pumpkin spiced latte flavour pie in his locker with another sticky note.  
'You def. need to tell me how this one is! I really need to know! Derek xxx'  
He shut his locker and just as he did it, the snakes came up behind it and shoved all of his books on the floor. There must have been fifteen books at least! Taking a great breath in, Stiles whipped around and punched the first person his fist came into contact with - Derek. But instead of his fist hitting Derek's face, Derek lifted his hand to stop it. "Bro," and shifted until they were holding hands. In one swift movement, Derek swept up all of Stiles' textbooks and walked off, still holding Stiles' hand.

What? Once again, the rest of the day went as per the norm, until it was eleven pm and Stiles' phone buzzed repeatedly. It was around three dozen facebook messages. All of them asked the same thing - "Are you and Derek Hale dating now?" or "Derek is saying you're dating, is it true?" His class mates might have many faults, but they'd make great journalists! He ignored all of the messages in favour of watching Netflix, he was halfway through season one of orange is the new black.

By eight am, Stiles was finished season two and left in an empty state because of the season finale. He threw on a hoodie and grabbed his bag, shoving his laptop inside. On his way down the stairs, he heard two voices in the kitchen. One was his dad, and one was very famili- Derek.   
Stiles rushed into the kitchen. "Morning Stiles." His dad said. "Derek's going to take you to school this morning. Isn't that nice of him?"  
"Sure." Stiles murmured.  
"You wanna grab a coffee before we go? Or a slice of my pie?" Stiles had neglected to tell Derek that he had already eaten all of the God-given pie.  
"Nope, I'm good."  
"Okay, see you later Sheriff Stilinski."  
"Bye Derek, bye Stiles."

They stepped outside to meet Derek's sleek black camero. God,if cars could turn Stiles on, this would be his downfall. They rode to school together and once they were at school, people started whispering.

Epilogue

It was the greatest day of Stiles' life, his wedding day. It was cliche but it didn't matter beacause they weren't. He was standing next to Derek and every now and then, he would grab a grape or a sausage or a cupcake from Derek's plate and would swallow it before Derek could reclaim it. One of his aunts came up to the both of them, along with a cousin and asked the question Stiles dreaded the most. "So, how did you two meet?" Fuck! What should he say? Before Stiles could even formulate an answer, Derek spoke up.  
"Well, I was co-captain of the lacrosse team when Stiles asked me out a bunch of times. It must have been at least twenty before I said yes. To be honest, I kind of felt sorry for him."  
"Well... that's nice dear." She patted Derek's arm and walked away.  
"What!?! That's not what happened!"  
"Sure it is sweetie." Derek smirked.  
"But... pie and sexy car."  
"Yeah, but none of my family know I bake, and they'd tease me for eternity. So if you know what's good for you, you'd forget what really happened."  
"But I love your pies! And if they tasted them, there'd be no way they'd tease."  
"Yeah, but it makes me seem like your trophy wife." He mumbled.  
"You are my trophy wife, you literally don't work and you stay at home cleaning and tidying!"  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"I'm Derek Hale, your trophy wife?"  
"Yes."


End file.
